Travel Advice from an Abrasive Millenial
I made this departure flight thanks to TSA allowing me through security with 24 individual tequila, Baileys, and rum pocket shots. They were sealed, 3oz, clear bottles packed in a clear plastic bag, pulled out with my toiletries, because loop holes are everywhere and it is my job as a middle child to exploit them.
For my very first trip abroad, I stayed in Dublin for a week with two friends who were also figuring out this whole ‘travel while broke’ thing with me. It was not glamorous: we packed multiple boxes of meal bars so we would only have to buy dinner (and drinks. mostly drinks), wore the same three outfits for a week, and took public transportation everywhere.
This was my ~maiden voyage~ flying to mainland Europe, because even analogies about ships crossing oceans must somehow reference women and ~coitus~
If I could change anything, I would’ve skipped Nice and gone straight from Paris to Florence to spend more time in either city. The French Riviera is beautiful, but is more of its own separate vacation. Overall, France and Italy are super ugly and you probably shouldn’t go.
Picture, if you will (just fucking do it), the super fluffy, neon, Day Glow colored, stacked 10 miles high gelato stands on the perimeters of famous European churches, river fronts, or central squares. Gelato is supposed to be, uh, ~frozen~, so you should be concerned if the gelato you’re looking at is stacked so high without melting. Also, they just keep adding that stuff on top to make it look worth of an Instagram post, but you’re actually served the old stuff at the bottom. Its genuinely full of weird chemicals to prevent it from melting and tastes like cold butt fungus.
