How I bought a bum load of travel tech without selling my underwear on the internet

Mainly I just wanted to make a joke about butts that would complement my reference to the online panty-sniffing industry. Also, here is how to buy nice things on the internet without paying full price.

Buy used. That’s it. End of article. People sell things they don’t need anymore, and they happened to take very good care of those things while they had them. If you need a piece of technology, odds are, somebody is trying to sell it right now on Facebook Marketplace. Tech companies are upgrading their tablets, phones, computers, headphones, smart watches, and cameras faster than I can get my puppy to actually poop outside. Consumers now buy things to prepare to upgrade within 3 years or less.

Go on Facebook Marketplace right now and just type in “computer” You will see dozens of different desktops and laptops all in perfect condition, with all original packaging, paperwork, chargers, and oftentimes nice cases. Macs, Microsoft Surfaces, desktops, external hard drives, Facebook Marketplace has become less sketchy Craigslist the way Target is less sketchy Walmart.

Yes, people sell some weird shit on there (Nobody wants your fucking eggs, Carol) and I even saw a lady once post a picture of a big tooth with the caption, ‘Not for sale, I just want to now if this is a real bear tooth or not?’ So worst case scenario you pee a little bit.

Having whatever your selling be linked to your profile (which still remains private) ensures that you are meeting a real person to exchange actual goods. I also like that you get linked right away through Facebook messenger. If you’re honestly weirded out by meeting a stranger to buy something or don’t trust somebody, just take a friend with you. I’ve met all my sellers at a local coffee shop. You just pay like the god damn millennial you are with Venmo or Paypal or Bitcoin or Memes and go on your way. I have set up arrangements in the past where I pay half until I can vet my new purchase (like my laptop) and then I send the other half by the end of the day if I’m satisfied.

In general, trustworthy people will have well organized posts. They won’t just say ‘Mac. Like New.’ They will say, ‘Macbook Air. Mid 2014. Like new with original packaging and charger’ and provide ALL the tech specs, like storage space and speed, and have several good photos of the item from different angles. When you meet to buy a piece of tech, have the seller turn on whatever it is for you and walk you through the set up. They need to prove to you that its been wiped. Ask why they are selling the item and what they replaced it with. Research the main cons of the item ahead of time and ask the seller how they dealt with them.

I bought a ‘Like New’ Microsoft Surface Pro 4 from Facebook Marketplace and I am extremely happy with it. The owner got a new computer for Christmas and was just looking to make some money. It’s insane specs, along with its mouse, smart pen, keyboard, and hard case, were valued at over $1,400, and I got it for half that price just because nobody would buy it and the glass screen protector was cracked in the corner. That is some shit I would’ve done myself anyways so who gives a shit. Its been a month now and I’ve had no problems.

Don’t be scared of buying things you need from potential weirdos. You are probably a huge weirdo. If you don’t like what you see when you meet, you don’t have to buy it. If the owner can prove that whatever it is works, don’t poke holes in it as an excuse to buy something new. We gotta recycle more fam, and buying used tech is not a scary thing. If you don’t see what you need, be patient or expand your search radius. Happy bargain shopping!